SCOTT’S APPLE ORCHARD
Do Not pick the apples off the tree...even if you're THREE yrs. old and your Grandmama took you for a walk in the Apple Orchard to see how apples grow and you had just read a story about a little boy named Johnny Appleseed who loved apples and now you ONLY Three Yrs. Old want to go to the "Apple PORCH" or at least that what it sounded like when Grandmama said it.
Whatever you do, Do Not BITE into "said" apple in plain view of CASH REGISTER LADY because the Apple Police are coming for YOU!
Positively DO NOT pick an apple off the tree, IF you have left your elderly Mother-in-law inside the Apple Orchard Showroom (above) while you take your Grandson to see the apple trees......he reaches up to pull an apple off a tree while your MIL is standing next to Cash Register Lady yelling at you a Good 150 ft.+ in the orchard, "Don't PICK THE APPLES OFF THE TREES!!!!!!!!! WE DON"T ALLOW THAT"...........and Three yr. old begins to cry because "that lady said NO"!!
No folks, it wasn't the Hallmark Moment I had envisioned in my head but then that seems to be the story of my life. Hang with me FIVE MInutes and I'll find a rule to break!
When walking back...no slinking back... with head down, tail tucked between my legs... Grandson now wanting to COUNT the apples in each of the bags (above)..I politely apologized and replied:
Gmama: "I've taken my children here for the last 30 yrs and we've always picked ONE apple"
Cashier Lady: "Well, you just didn't get caught!"
An Apple a Day keeps the Apple Police Away and Gmama out of Apple Orchard Jail
MRI UPDATE from Monday
Geez Lueez...#1 Husband had the Wrong Day for the MRI Appt. AND the Medical Mall did NOT have the OPEN MRI he had requested.
...and he says I have "Half" hiemers............. Good Grief...but the funniest part is that #1 had already taken his Pre MRI "Happy Pill" because he's too big of a chicken for ANY medical procedure I tell ya. Not just an MRI, I'm talkin' ANY Medical Procedure.
The Kids had better pray I go first is all I'm gonna say! They'll have to either have Wife #2 in the wings or move him into their storage closet because the Man can NOT survive Alone for more than 2 hrs.....and that's iffy!!!
WE now have to drive to Dr.'s office for a rescheduled appt. at a different facility that HAS the BIG OPEN MRI. When the girl at the desk calls new facility and ONLY says only #1's name, the girl on the other end of the phone immediately recognizes #1 husband's name from a previous MRI last year in which he went a little "wonky" on them and SAYS,
"Oh yes, he's had problems before, he needs to double the Ativan dosage for tomorrow's appt."
I'm cracking up, I tell ya...................
So now, WE go (meaning I drive the drunk one) for MRI Do-Over on Tuesday at 4:00
( OOps I think this is a DUI Picture for sure)
.......and the saga continues.....until
Wed....Any bets there will be More to This Story???
Blessings
I don't think I would return to that orchard - we always go to a 'pick your own' and just enjoy the day. Tractor/wagon ride out to the orchard section scheduled for picking day, browse the shop, cider donuts a must here! A kid friendly place. Lol - what an adventure - I am familiar with MRI machines - open ones are easy peasy - but the tunnel, need something to just block the noise and I am out like a light. Am I the only one who power naps in an MRI?
ReplyDeleteWow, not one dang apple off the tree? Bet he will never forget that lady. I am with your hubby and the MRI. I had one, but only had to go in up t o my waist for my knee MRI. Orthopedist wants one of my back. It was supposed to be up to my chin... nope, no way hose or hosea. That was over a year ago. I have not been yet and I really need to go. I want to go, but I am claustrophobic. Didn't know how bad it was until I went. It took me 3 hours to calm down. I am sure that there is a big open one in with a breeze blowing gale speed winds. I would rather go to the annual GYN check up any day!
ReplyDeleteBeckie
OMG, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so did both!!!
ReplyDeleteI hate to be laughing at someone elses misery but your descriptions are just so funny. I hope the sequel will have a better outcome.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! So sorry about #1 having to do a "do-over". and If it was my grandchild, I would have told the cashier "NOW look what you have done. YOU tell him why he cant have a apple" lol Thx, made my day!!!
ReplyDeleteThat mean old cashier... making a 3 year old cry! Good luck today with the open MRI!
ReplyDeleteYour post are written with such candor. I love them!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts. Now this one is almost hilarious.. if I didn't know it was about something so serious. Poor guy! I pitty you having to drive DH to the MRI..no telling jokes on the way, because he may laugh uncontrollably. For me an MRI is just another opportunity to take a nap.. AHHHHHHHHHH quiet time!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your husband. That's me. Anxiety galore when I even go to the dentist for a teeth cleaning. They routinely take my blood pressure there (they do everyone) and it jumps to sky high! Every time! After being home about an hour it drops back to normal. It's not fun. Be nice to him. :-) I wish it could be controlled with good thoughts or something. It's good you are there with him!
ReplyDeleteI`m laughing,your post is adorable.
ReplyDeleteHI Jane you always make me laugh because I have many of the same experiences. Jonah thinks it would be funny for the Police to put Grammie in jail. There is know reasoning with them sometimes because they think they should be able to do what ever they want. Poor Rodger I have had a few MRI'S and they aren't painful but for someone with FM to lay still for any length of time i agonizing . Nobody offered me any anything other then yelling please lay still. Good luck Rodger.
ReplyDeleteOkay Jane I had to read that one out loud to my husband and nephew - we laughed out loud! Your poor husband...I know that can be difficult for some folks and I'm so glad mine didn't have the same problem. When he had melanoma he had several MRIs and PET scans! blessings, marlene
ReplyDeleteOh Jane, I am still laughing. You have such a good sense of humour about life. Hope all goes well with hubby. Maybe you and grandson should plant your own apple tree! Forget that mean cashier.
ReplyDeleteOK, wine spewing out the nose is just a waste of good wine, but geez, that's funny. Oh, sorry, no, it's not funny, but the way you tell it is!! Good thing I didn't have to pee, too!!
ReplyDeleteBut, I can relate to #1 - I just automatically double up the Xanax - found that out the hard way. Even at 2, last one, I was semi-dozing (hard to believe, but no food & 2 happy pills and no sleep and 7:30 am MRI = semi-dozing), just minding my own business, and all of a sudden, I guess the clanging woke me up. And what did I do? I SAT UP. yup, fully inside! Clunked my ole noggin big time, scared myself silly, started crying hysterically & they had to end the test. You should read the report on that one!
But, no picking the apples? Are they joking? Half the fun of going to the orchard/field/patch/whatEVER, is picking half your weight in produce! I cannot imagine going somewhere sampling was not permitted. Heck, when we were in Florida, some days we'd drive to the farm to go strawberry picking and come out of the patch with only one flat! And blueberries, well, gosh, let's just say my tongue was always as purple as my fingers after a couple hours in the bushes! Yeah, I'd have to find another orchard, lickety split. Especially now that grandson will probably start crying every time he goes by that one!
Good luck with the next MRI!!
The cash register lady needs to take a 'happy pill'. She could have weighed another apple with yours, then removed it, to account for the one 3yo bit in to and said nicely to him that he's not supposed to pick them, even though it's exciting to do. She's taken the joy out of it for him now.
ReplyDeleteLol, my tough farmer, with veins like drainpipes, takes 12yo daughter that's unflappable with him when he needs a blood test as he feels queasy and I have enough trouble 'braving' myself up for my own tests!! As long as it's not his blood he's ok but she has to hold his hand when it is :). I know where he's living when he retires!
Cheers,
Robyn
Interesting that you can't pick the apples at the orchard. We just went yesterday and that is the whole point of going, to pick your own apples. The Gala's and Cortlands were delicious. I guess you need to find a pick friendly orchard.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteSo FUNNY!!
*double the Ativan dosage for tomorrow's appt*
We just picked apples and ate 3. Hmmm, what about all the ones on the ground too? BROTHER!
ReplyDelete