Favorite Scripture

FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU, DECLARES THE LORD...PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU...PLANS TO GIVE YOU A HOPE AND A FUTURE.
JEREMIAH 29:11 (NIV)

Monday, November 14, 2011

Back Seat Driving

My Day with #1 Husband
You just thought you had heard it all!  Yep, things were going WAAAAY too smoothly with the Mister's surgery recovery.  Now granted, he's on his 2nd prescription of pain meds.  NEVER, in the 40 years I've known this man has he EVER taken more than 3-5 pain pills from any prescription...in fact he prides himself on having a much higher pain threshold than any normal human being.  According to Mr. Know It All, his ability to suffer through pain could be described as almost Super Human.
UNTIL......
ROTATOR CUFF SURGERY OCT. 2011

Against my better judgement I give in and let #1 husband drive himself to therapy...it's only a 6-7 mile drive.  How much trouble could he get into??  Right??
WRONG!!
I get this strange call around 10:15 a.m. from the mister wanting me to come get him because he isn't feeling too well.  I'm a little concerned but given that he called me himself I'm not overly concerned at this point.  I get Sidekick's shoes on as well as my own and give a passing glance at my appearance...granted I had just thrown on a pair of jeans and one of my old summer pull overs intending on cleaning house.  I DID have on CLEAN Underwear...just in case.  Hey, I'm no fool.  Didn't your mother warn you to always wear clean underwear because you never knew when you might have an accident and have to go to the hospital?  I may have looked like crap on the outside but my Granny Panties were WHITE with NO HOLES, thank you very much!

I drive the 6 miles to the Physical Therapy clinic when I see RED LIGHTS FLASHING from the top of the Rescue Squad Truck!!  Ok, I'm NOW Overly Concerned!!!  I grab Sidekick from his car seat (do child seat restraints have a hidden rule that they will NOT open when you're in a hurry?)  I'm running into the PT office hoping it's NOT My MISTER the red lights are there for...but no such luck!
There he sits, with 3 EMT's surrounding him and he turns around with that sheepish grin letting me know he REALLY didn't mean to cause such a scene.
It appears that the mister's Blood pressure bottomed out and he came close to passing out.  With a BP of 60-47, it was necessary to call 911.  

Since some of the mister's symptoms mimicked a small heart attack, a little trip to the ER was in order.  I make arrangements for me to drop off Sidekick on my way to the hospital.  Poor baby, he was so discombobulated when the EMT's put his PaPaw in that Big Ol Ambulance.  I tried my best to reassure the little fella but it's difficult to explain such complexities to a 3 yr. old.  (Sidebar: we called tonight to reassure Sidekick that PaPaw was Ok but seems he was too busy playing a video game to come to the phone... Geez...life can be so compartmentalized by a 3 yr. old!)

I get over a mile behind the Ambulance when I drop off my little man so in order to "legally speed" I turn on my Hazard lights....I know, I know it doesn't work....I can still get a ticket...but I figure it tells the other drivers to get OUTTA MY WAY...GMAMA has her PEDAL to the METAL!

I finally catch up to the Ambulance and while sitting at a red light my cell phone rings..but it's #1's name on the ID window??!!  What???..............Did #1 leave his phone back at the therapy clinic and they're calling to locate the phone's owner ?  Sure, that's probably it.
NOPE...IT'S THE MISTER, CALLING FROM THE BACK OF THE AMBULANCE TO TELL ME TO TURN OFF MY HAZARD LIGHTS!!

I MIGHT GET A TICKET!
 Yes, this is a real picture of the Gmama
Ok...it COULD have been me 40 yrs ago.
The Man is BACKSEAT DRIVING while Lying on a Gurney in the Back of a moving Ambulance that's transporting him to the ER!!!  Geez Louise............

Long story short, The Mister is FINE!!  He just "Fell out" as he calls it.   Evidently, his body reacted to the perfect storm of pain, pain meds.,needing to eat, and blood pressure dropping.  All blood work, EKG, heart, all looked perfectly normal.

NORMAL is a RELATIVE term when it comes to this man I married.  
For all the Aggravation he can give me, I think I'd like very much to keep the Mister around to aggravate me a lot longer.
and the adventure continues......
 

22 comments:

  1. Seriously funny (given that all is well...) Sounds like something I would do! Note to self: If I am ever following hubby in an ambulance, take possession of his phone first.

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  2. Oh my goodness. I don't even know what to say. Or do. Laugh or cry... I know you were scared, you had to be. But when he started telling you how to drive you had to laugh. Right? :) blessings, marlene

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  3. An adventure for sure - thankfully he didn't try to drive! Hmmm - no it confirms why I have no cell phone.

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  4. OH MY GOSH! Jane, I can't believe he called you from the back of an ambulance!!! ROGER!!! LOL, life is never boring at your home is it?!? Hugs!!!! :)

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  5. You write the greatest posts! Even in dire circumstances you can make a reader laugh!
    I'm so glad your hubby is okay!

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  6. Having dealt over a year with a torn rotator cuff, I can believe he has pain ... and knowing how my own #1 deals with pain, I can see the writing on the wall. ALSO, having made trips to the ER with "1, I am glad you can still have something funny to say. Each time I set out on a trip like this, I am saying over and over to myself,"I hope we will all be laughing about this in a weeks time".

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  7. Oh my.....life is never in your household!

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  8. You tell #1 that there are MUCH better ways for him to check YOUR heart function, and much more fun ways at that!! Oh my goodness.. oh my goodness!!! He seemed so calm through the whole story too.. MEN!! Gotta love them :)

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  9. I guess you will be driving him to PT until he is off the meds! Whata rush you must have had, you probably needed your BP taken. Hugs

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  10. As serious as the situation is/was, you have me chuckling with your story. Sometimes laughter is the best way to handle a stressful situation especially after it is over. :) So glad he is okay though. Will be praying for less drama next time PT rolls around.

    P.S. I hope your driving him...

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  11. Hindsight is always funnier than when it's happening. Hope hubby stays well and off the pain meds as soon as possible.
    Beckie in Brentwood, TN

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  12. Love the way you tell a story!

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  13. thats WHY GRANDMA's have greyhair isn't it? Hang on he sounds like some of the patients I've delt with lately

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  14. Lol, I'm surprised the ambos let him use his mobile as aren't mobiles supposed to interfere with all those monitoring machines they have in there?
    You'll never need to watch an adventurous thriller movie while you're married to #1. He's helping you live it!! Talk about adrenalin rush :D.
    Cheers,
    Robyn

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  15. When the man upstairs was passing out a sense of humour-he surely gave you a double dose! Must have known you would need it for #1.
    Glad all is well.

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  16. Oh my goodness, GMama! What a roller coaster ride. I am simultaneously worried sick and laughing out loud. So glad everything turned out fine.

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  17. Hi Jane, as usual you gave me my laugh for the day. Your Husband is a HOOT what a life you have never a dull moment. I am glad everything turned out o-kay and tell Roger to stop backseat driving when in an ambulance you have been driving many years LOL . Love Ya Sandra

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  18. I am laughing my socks off now, and that isn't wasy since I have slippers on too. What next! At lease life in your house is never dull.

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  19. That is SOOOO Daddy! And I can just here you fussing at him for calling you while strapped down. Ya'll brack me up!

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  20. Happy to hear that the Mister is okay! Cracked me up when I read about him calling from the back of the ambulance! I feel so bad for him! I tore my rotator cuff the month after my leg was amputated. Yep, lifting a wheelchair into the back of my car. I heard it tear! So, I was having surgery again after 4 weeks of PT. Horribly painful surgery and recovery. I'll be praying for him as he recovers and for You as you take care of him. Hugs ~ Jo

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  21. OH MY GOSH! You are just too funny. Obviously it wasn't to YOU at the time but yea, thanks for the laugh tonight. Glad the Mr. is doing ok now.

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  22. Oh, my how I needed that laugh tonight. You sure had a day of it, didn't you? And talk about back seat driving...good grief, he takes the plate on that one!

    I hope he is feeling better now.

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Blessings to all of you who have taken the time to leave your thoughtful comments. I read each one and hope you will come back often!

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