Back Seat Driving

My Day with #1 Husband

You just thought you had heard it all!  Yep, things were going WAAAAY too smoothly with the Mister's surgery recovery.  Now granted, he's on his 2nd prescription of pain meds.  NEVER, in the 40 years I've known this man has he EVER taken more than 3-5 pain pills from any prescription...in fact he prides himself on having a much higher pain threshold than any normal human being.  According to Mr. Know It All, his ability to suffer through pain could be described as almost Super Human.

UNTIL......

ROTATOR CUFF SURGERY OCT. 2011

Against my better judgement I give in and let #1 husband drive himself to therapy...it's only a 6-7 mile drive.  How much trouble could he get into??  Right??

WRONG!!

I get this strange call around 10:15 a.m. from the mister wanting me to come get him because he isn't feeling too well.  I'm a little concerned but given that he called me himself I'm not overly concerned at this point.  I get Sidekick's shoes on as well as my own and give a passing glance at my appearance...granted I had just thrown on a pair of jeans and one of my old summer pull overs intending on cleaning house.  I DID have on CLEAN Underwear...just in case.  Hey, I'm no fool.  Didn't your mother warn you to always wear clean underwear because you never knew when you might have an accident and have to go to the hospital?  I may have looked like crap on the outside but my Granny Panties were WHITE with NO HOLES, thank you very much!

I drive the 6 miles to the Physical Therapy clinic when I see RED LIGHTS FLASHING from the top of the Rescue Squad Truck!!  Ok, I'm NOW Overly Concerned!!!  I grab Sidekick from his car seat (do child seat restraints have a hidden rule that they will NOT open when you're in a hurry?)  I'm running into the PT office hoping it's NOT My MISTER the red lights are there for...but no such luck!

There he sits, with 3 EMT's surrounding him and he turns around with that sheepish grin letting me know he REALLY didn't mean to cause such a scene.

It appears that the mister's Blood pressure bottomed out and he came close to passing out.  With a BP of 60-47, it was necessary to call 911.  

Since some of the mister's symptoms mimicked a small heart attack, a little trip to the ER was in order.  I make arrangements for me to drop off Sidekick on my way to the hospital.  Poor baby, he was so discombobulated when the EMT's put his PaPaw in that Big Ol Ambulance.  I tried my best to reassure the little fella but it's difficult to explain such complexities to a 3 yr. old.  (Sidebar: we called tonight to reassure Sidekick that PaPaw was Ok but seems he was too busy playing a video game to come to the phone... Geez...life can be so compartmentalized by a 3 yr. old!)

I get over a mile behind the Ambulance when I drop off my little man so in order to "legally speed" I turn on my Hazard lights....I know, I know it doesn't work....I can still get a ticket...but I figure it tells the other drivers to get OUTTA MY WAY...GMAMA has her PEDAL to the METAL!

I finally catch up to the Ambulance and while sitting at a red light my cell phone rings..but it's #1's name on the ID window??!!  What???..............Did #1 leave his phone back at the therapy clinic and they're calling to locate the phone's owner ?  Sure, that's probably it.

NOPE...IT'S THE MISTER, CALLING FROM THE BACK OF THE AMBULANCE TO TELL ME TO TURN OFF MY HAZARD LIGHTS!!

I MIGHT GET A TICKET!

 Yes, this is a real picture of the Gmama

Ok...it COULD have been me 40 yrs ago.

The Man is BACKSEAT DRIVING while Lying on a Gurney in the Back of a moving Ambulance that's transporting him to the ER!!!  Geez Louise............

Long story short, The Mister is FINE!!  He just "Fell out" as he calls it.   Evidently, his body reacted to the perfect storm of pain, pain meds.,needing to eat, and blood pressure dropping.  All blood work, EKG, heart, all looked perfectly normal.

NORMAL is a RELATIVE term when it comes to this man I married.  

For all the Aggravation he can give me, I think I'd like very much to keep the Mister around to aggravate me a lot longer.

and the adventure continues......