OUCH! OUCH!! RED ANT ALERT!!

DO NOT WEAR FLIP FLOPS 

When Photographing your NEXT quilt if it's next to a vegetable garden 

with a HUGE Red Ant Hill in your path!

This post was originally inspired by an act of kindness from my 4th grade Grandson, Ryan. I'll get to that later! 

In the process of photographing this quilt, I stepped on top of a HUGE red ant hill.  My foot sunk into the soft dirt while the ants immediately began to bite and sting. I felt as though I were in quick sand...my foot wouldn't move fast enough nor could I get the ants off my foot.  I began  running towards my house, up the stairs, and into the bathtub to wash the ants off and apply first aid spray. 

 Great plan... IF I could find the first aid spray!!!  Have I told you how BADLY it feels to be bitten/stung by  red ants ???  I am running hither and fro looking for SOMETHING...ANYTHING to numb the pain!!  After the LONGEST 20 minutes of my life, I find some CVS brand first aid spray with numbing medicine as well as antihistamine properties.  I also popped a Benadryl tablet.  But the ONE treatment that worked the best was an ice pack intended for my broken ankle of last fall.  AAHHH!!!  RELIEF!!!!!!

Now for the REAL STORY....

 Ryan's class has a fellow classmate with cancer who is beginning chemo treatments in the next few weeks.  Wyatt must remain in the hospital for several months.  It was Ryan's idea for the class to sign a quilt and take it to Wyatt as a gift and reminder of how much his friends and teachers are thinking of him.  Even though the class can't be there in person during Wyatt's treatments, he can wrap up in this quilt full of love and Get Well wishes.  I just happened to have a quilt top given to me by my blogging friend, Marlene's quilt guild last April when I was collecting quilts for Tornado Babies.  I was very select about who got the quilts and this particular quilt just never found the right home...till now.

I think Marlene's Guild will be pleased to know their quilt scraps are going to make a little 10 yr. old boy feel very loved in the next few months.

I had a feeling this quilt was intended for a special recipient 

and

I was right!

God go with you precious Wyatt.  May His healing hand be upon you and when you wrap yourself in your new quilt, may you feel all the love, get well wishes, and prayers stitched into and written upon this special quilt...

WYATT'S QUILT

Prayer Request Sunday May 20th, 2012

PRAYER REQUEST SUNDAY

BABY MAX

MAY 20th, 2012

Prayer Warriors

Our little Baby Max needs us once again.

I have cut and pasted the note Patricia received from Max's mother.

The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much"  James 5:16

"And whatever you ask in My name (consistent with everything I have taught you), that, I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son"  John 14:13

PATRICIA/BABY MAX

Can we put Max back on the prayer warrior list please?  I received the following from Gina:

Well, well, well where do I begin. Let's start with the good. We moved into our new house this weekend. It's amazing. I finally have my dream kitchen! I also had a wonderful first Mother's day, a day I've been waiting to celebrate for years. Maxi man is now weighing in at 10 pounds 12 ounces. Now the bad, Max was admitted to the hospital Tuesday night! Yep, that's right we are back in cardiac ICU at Duke. For the past couple of weeks, Max has been dry heaving and gagging throughout the day and night. He stopped taking a bottle completely and was only getting his feeds through his tube. He started spitting up a few days ago and on Tuesday he had some small specks of blood. I immediately called the doctors in Boston and they thought it was pretty normal since Max has been dry heaving so often. Well, as the day went on, Max was realy not feeling well. His coloring was off and my instincts told me something was wrong. He started to throw up a very disturbing purple and it had blood in it. We took him to the ER at Duke and he was admitted. They did an ECHO right away which looked good. There is now blood in his stool and blood in his stomach. He received a blood transfusion tonight. He is also requiring oxygen at a very large amount. They are confused and concerned with the need for oxygen because his heart and lungs look good. They are leaning towards some kind of infection. He is being tested for everything. Tonight he had a fever of 103. They gave him tylenol through his IV and it went down to 98 within a couple of hours. Tomorrow he is scheduled for a cath to check his pulmonary veins. During this time, the GI team is going to put a scope down his throat to find out what is going on. One of the side effects in 8% of the children on Gleevec is a GI bleed. We are hoping this is not the case. They tried to feed Max tonight through his G tube and as soon as the milk went in his tummy, he went crazy and screaming bloody murder. He is definitely letting everyone know something is really wrong. We are hoping it will be found and fixed. I kinda feel like nothing is ever simple with Max. For once, I just want them to say "here is the problem and here is the solution." Just a simple black and white issue. Max is always is the gray area.
The ugly...Poor Max is just miserable. He won't give us a smile and just looks so sad. I just want them to fix my baby boy so he can begin to enjoy eating. And he can't afford to lose any weight. He is so close to doubling his birth weight by his 6 month check up next week. Please continue to pray for Max and that this is just another bump in the road that we will get through. I will update everyone tomorrow evening with the findings.

JULIE/BEN
Julie informs me that her grandson Ben has had more seizures.  The doctors can not find a cause for 10 yr. old Ben who was born blind.  However, Julie's husband has been doing some research (as we grandparents are known to do when the health and well being of our grandchildren are at stake) and he suspects Ben has a condition due to a parasite in uncooked meat that is specific to Korea. Ben was born in Korea which makes this a very plausible explanation for the seizures. Julie and Ben need our prayers. 





Thank you prayers warriors. God hears our prayers. have a wonderful week.


Blessings,
Gmamma Jane


P.S. Having some computer issues. Blog post may be a little scarce this week.

THE PERFECT HAMBURGER...IT'S ALL IN THE SMASH!

IT'S ALL IN THE SMASH

**WARNING:  VEGETARIAN UNFRIENDLY POST**

I Love a REAL Hamburger. 

The kind you get at some little hole in the wall restaurant or local diner.  One where the sides of the meat are uneven and the patty covers the whole bun!  The Bun is lightly toasted with leaf lettuce, fresh garden tomato, extra Hellman's Mayo, melted cheese, slice of Vidalia onion, bread and butter pickle, ketchup, just enough salt and pepper....Oh My mouth is watering...YUM!!!

I wanted to know the secret of how a hamburger cooked in my local diner always tasted so much better than the ones I made at home.  Now don't get me wrong, I could make a great hamburger but they still weren't the same

So...

I went to the SOURCE...the Queen of the Diner Kitchen...Mrs. Curtis

 Here is what she told me!  I asked her , "How do you get your hamburgers to taste so good?"  She told me the magic is in the way you patty the meat!

You need your meat, seasonings and TWO PAPER PLATES

Break off enough meat for one hamburger

DO NOT WORK WITH YOUR HANDS

Place meat in the center of a paper plate sprayed with cooking oil such as PAM ( I use a store brand)

Take another Paper Plate sprayed with oil, place on top of meat

and SMASH

Don't overdo this step.  The less you work with the meat the juicier!

I like this step!  gets out all my frustrations!

TA DA!

 A very irregular hamburger patty.  I make a hole in the center to make sure it is cooked all the way through. OOPS, I forgot to take a picture of this step.

Season well on both sides then slide meat patty onto griddle, or grill.  

Cook meat with the goal of only turning meat once.

VOILA!! 

 The BEST TASTING HAMBURGER EVER!

IT'S ALL IN THE SMASH!

ADD CONDIMENTS

 (chuckle... Refer back to previous post, Taco Bell Story)

Go HAVE A HAMBURGER!

P.S.  I've not been able to reply to all your comments this past week due to some computer issues PLUS, I've been so busy attending grandpeeps end of year activities!!  I do read them all!!

 I've volunteered with Field Day and Awards programs.  My oldest grandson has me making a comfy quilt for one of his classmates undergoing cancer treatments as well as sewing a new summer dress for Emma's awards day.  Not much time left for blogging but then real life takes precedent over blogging life...right?!!  next week begins

Camp Grandmama, Summer 2012

Pictures to come!!

I am so grateful for my life with grandchildren.  They keep me young!

SQUIRRELS and NUTS

SQUIRRELS 

The little boogers are abundant in the woods surrounding the farmhouse this spring!  I counted NINE dining at the 3  bird feeders near my front porch!.  I gave up fighting the squirrels getting to my birdseed a long time ago.  Could be why I have so many squirrels!?

However, as plentiful and fun as they are to watch (my sister would disagree) with their antics hanging upside down on the bird feeders, today's post has nothing to do with the actual squirrels in my woods and everything to do with something funny my grandson, Sidekick Scott asked me Monday!

WARNING...

3 yr. old Little boys have no filter on what comes out of their mouths

Let me set the stage:  

Sidekick and I have spent a fair amount of time the last two weeks watching and commenting on the squirrels, where they live, what they eat, etc... Thus the topic of nuts and how the squirrels store them for the winter was fresh on his little mind as he played over the weekend with his 2 older brothers, Ryan and Clay.

Fast Forward to Monday.  Sidekick is undressing to get his bath (he takes a bath after lunch every day at my house) :

Sidekick:  Grandmama?

Gmama:  Yes, Scott

Sidekick:  Ryan punched Clay in the nuts.

Gmama:  Well, that wasn't nice.  Don't you let your brothers hit you there.

Sidekick:  Grandmama?  Where are your NUTS?

What would you have said???

I just consider this little conversation to be one more 

GRANDMAMA'S STORIES!

A QUILT, SOME VINTAGE BUTTONS, AND AN AMISH TREAT

A QUILT...

MOST IMPORTANTLY

A UFO QUILT!

Well, almost...I'm stitching the last side of the binding as we speak!

Forgive the poor photography... I only have a point and shoot plus it's not one of my gifts!

I know my blog would be so much better with good pictures but 

a new camera just isn't in the budget at this time.

I enjoyed embroidering special names, words, and phrases unique to the two of us!

VINTAGE BUTTONS

Buttons from a 50 yr.+ button box belonging to my mother.  She passed it down to me and all my children have fond memories of playing in the gold tin otherwise known as 'The Button Box"

Being the saver she was, no article of clothing left our house without Mama cutting off all the buttons.  I can even remember TWO button boxes at one time.  Can you see those orange buttons from the 60's?  How about THOSE green ones from the 70's?  We had a house fire when I was 9 yrs. in 1962 and mama's original button box was burned.  The current button collection begins in 1962!

I am attempting to sort and organize my buttons however, I will admit I miss the fun of digging through 1 big box of buttons!  It was like a treasure hunt every time the lid was opened.  You started out looking for one specific color, style, and size button but soon found yourself lost in looking at every unique button your fingers touched.

AN AMISH TREAT

FRIED PIES AND A CUPPA

#1 Husband took a road trip to Lawrenceburg, Tennesse, approx. 90 min. from the Farm.

There is a large AMISH contingent living in and around Lawrenceburg, TN.  #1 goes for tractor parts and to visit with a particular family he has become quite fond of.  The little children run to him looking for candy in his pocket!  They are a quiet people but once they get to know you, quite friendly. 

Mrs. G makes the best friend pies ever!  Of course, the filling is made from dried fruit and the pastry uses pure lard rendered from their hogs back in the fall..  Without preservatives, the fruit turns brown which led to quite a *discussion* at our Mothers' Day Dinner table!  #1 husband, anxious for the girls to try an Amish fried pie, insisted they take a bite even though each had just feasted on a HUGE slice of Dutch Apple Pie from Costco...YUM!!!  Let's just say. the girls palates' are not used to brown fruit and lard based pastry! Fine with me...just more for ME!!

NEXT

Sewing for the Granddaughter

and one of my New Favorite Things

MOTHER'S DAY / PROVERBS 31 WOMAN

MOTHER'S DAY
MAY 13TH, 2012

Today is a special day for those of us blessed to have children who call us mother.  We are doubly blessed if we have or have had a mother whom we consider a Proverbs 31 woman.  I am blessed in both departments.  To all of YOU, my faithful friends, I wish you a day of quiet reflection, rest, and JOY!
Please stop back by this week for some sewing projects for the granddaughter, some quilting progress, and lots more stories.  

To my three incredibly smart, intelligent, kind, and compassionate children,  Matthew, Mary Ellen and Anna Laura you are my greatest accomplishment...you are my Oscar!

Matthew, you are my first child...the son I so dearly prayed for and wished for.  You have always been my sweet boy who has treated me with such respect every day of your life.  You have always lived a life of honesty, integrity, and loyalty. We've always shared special songs, special moments and long talks in the kitchen. I love you more than you can ever know!

Mary Ellen, you are my "old soul", the most like me, and my closest friend.  You have always beat to your own drum with a keen sense of who you are, what you want, and determination to go over, around or under any obstacle placed in your path.  These qualities have made you the perfect mother for James.  I love you more than you can ever know!

Anna Laura, my sweet baby girl...The Baby!  You have and always will make me smile, make me laugh, and make me PROUD!  Your million dollar smile tells the world that Anna Laura is in the House!  I love spending time with you especially since we share a love of sewing, crafting, and cooking.  I love you more than you can ever know!

To my Son-in-Law Josh, you love my daughter with all your heart.  You have kept your promise to her Daddy and I to take care of her, love her, and protect her.  You are a young man of great intelligence, quiet humility, dry wit, strong work ethic, integrity, a loving father and keen sense of responsibility.  You are my child by marriage and loved from my heart.

To my Daughter-in-law Jenda, I could not of handpicked a more suitable help-meet for my son than you.  You embody every value described in a Proverbs 31 woman.  You are a young woman of impeccable integrity, strong sense of duty, kind, loving, and your love of our family makes me love you even more.

You are my daughter by marriage and loved from my heart.

To My FIVE GRANDCHILDREN
RYAN...CLAY...EMMA GRACE...SCOTT...JAMES
BEING YOUR GRANDMAMA IS MY GREATEST REWARD!


You are Braver than You Believe
Stronger than You Seem, 
and
Smarter than You Thin
 Christopher Robin


My Prayer for all my sweet friends who visit me here at Grandmama's Stories:

 A life well lived is documented by the number of stories that can be retold with a smile, a laugh, or a tear.   


 Blessings

CUSTOM ORDERED MEMORY

Custom Ordered Apron

Brings Back a Custom Ordered Memory

 I may have mentioned this fact before but if not, let me remind you that my small arsenal of sewing skills were all learned in 8th grade Home Ec classes in the mid 60's...before computerized anything.  Heck, we were barely out of the pedal machine stage.  I make mistakes doing the most simple task.  To say the seam ripper is my friend would be the understatement of the moment.  True to form, I was having trouble reading and understanding the pattern directions for this apron when another wonderful memory came to mind...a "Mama" Memory.  I told the Taco Bell story last week and warned you I had more where that one came from.  Humor me please since this is Mother's Day Week as I tell another little story with my mother as the main character.

My mother used a "treadle" Singer Sewing Machine all the time I was growing up.  I used to watch her sew but the truth is my mother wasn't the best seamstress .  Her matra was "almost is good enough"!  LOL  She loved telling the story about modeling her dress back in High School (1930's) before the entire student body.  

It was the custom back then for the Home Ec students (all girls of course) to have a fashion show at the end of the semester and allow the girls to "model" their fashion creations.   Mama made a simple A-line dress with sleeves (long or short I don't remember).  All the girls were responsible for having tried on their dress before the fashion show and made all needed corrections.  The teacher had obviously  not checked my mother's dress prior to the show due to the shocked look on her face when mother walked...no...Strutted across stage... head held high, mischievous smirk on her face, arms, shoulder and chest prominently jutting backwards all due to the fact that mother   had sewn the sleeves in backwards!!!

Mother's sewing snafu was one more opportunity for her to be the center of attention so when she strutted across stage with her arms projected awkwardly backwards, the resulting laughter was more priceless to her than having a perfectly sewn dress.  

Strange though...I never did know what grade mother made on that dress!  Funny how her stories conveniently left out certain important information.

BTW, the apron and bag-it are winging their way to *JULIE* who won in my recent Give-Away !

Blessings

WONKY TREES

Wonky Trees

I'm posting the FOUR Wonky Tree blocks I swapped in the Wonky Block Swap at Janes Fabrics.

I was very hesitant when I first entered this swap.  I was not quite sure how to "DO" wonky because to be honest...I had never seen wonky quilt blocks before.  As usual, if you need to know something, GOOGLE IT!

It didn't take long for me to catch on to "wonky" because I realized rather quickly that "wonky" fit my personality to a T!

And then...when I received wonky blocks from my group members???...Oh my word, I was hooked!

I will receive 4 wonky tree blocks back soon and will post ASAP.

Here are my other Wonky Tree Blocks.  Next... I have to do "wonky stars".  Jane had a tutorial at Sew We Quilt back in October so I will go looking for that in about 5 min...long enough for me to post, save, and publish!

Wonky Tree #2

Wonky Tree #3

Wonky Tree #4

Have a Wonderful Wonky Monday!

Blessings

PRAYER REQUEST SUNDAY MAY 6TH

PRAYER REQUEST SUNDAY

MAY 6 th,  2012

For in the day of trouble

He will keep me safe in His 

dwelling;

He will hide me in the shelter of His

tabernacle

and set me high upon a rock.

PSALM 27: 5

Powerful yet tender, protective yet liberating is how I read these words written so long ago by David, a man after God's own heart.  A man who in his imperfectness  gives us all A HOPE for unconditional love, forgiveness, and a second chance.  

MY God is the God of second chances.  It is my prayer for you today, that if you are in need of a second chance whether it be with God, in a relationship, in your finances, your job, or simply in need to know God's Plan B, C, D, or even E for your life, that you will "lift up your eyes unto the hills for whence cometh my help". 

 God Loves You

Prayer Requests

Jannette

Her mother was doing well for awhile but is now showing signs that her time is short upon this earth.  Her will to live is at odds with her deep desire to "go home".  May 14th is her 58th wedding anniversary and Jannette believes her mother is holding on so she can celebrate that important date.  Isn't that a great love story?  Jannette I will pray for your dear sweet mother to make that date and Pray that you will have the courage to release your mother to go home if that is her sincere desire.  I had to come to a point in time where I had to verbally tell my mother it was Ok to go...that I would be Ok.  It gave us both peace and allowed Mama to go to heaven with a smile on her face!

Sharon of Dancing Thru Threads

Friends, this dear quilting/blogging cohort needs our prayers and encouragement !  She has gone through some rough chemo and is facing more treatments plus radiation.  The cancer is not giving in quietly.  Her strength is weak and she was able to do some hand stitching this last week or so.  Go to her blog and give Sharon words of encouragement and let her know our group is praying for her!

Cathy

Cathy's daughter's Grandmother-in-law, ROSE, whom we began to pray for last week, has begun to feel some better after falling and breaking her wrist. The doctors think she may have also had a virus!  This 80 yr. old lady runs a Food Pantry plus serves her church, community and most of all her Lord!  What a precious woman of God, Rose must be.  I would love to know her and have her share wisdom that can only come from a life fully lived for God.

Marlene

Traveling and following the 4th Mission journey of Paul.  An incredible opportunity yet traveling in that part of the world can be dangerous.  Come home safely my friend. You can find Marlene here.

GMAMA

Pray for my daughter Mary Ellen's asthma and other health issues.  She has so much on her plate what with caring for James' w/ Cerebral Palsy, that her own health issues take a back burner.  James is growing and getting heavier.  Although he is walking with his walker in public, the fact remains at home much of his care still involves lifting and carrying him in and out of his chair, the tub, his bed, etc...  The physical wear and tear on my daughter is tremendous.  She needs a special touch for her back, for increased stamina, and wisdom in making decisions concerning discipline, school placement, and providing appropriate social situations for James.

Let me leave you with James' (4yr.) blessing before supper the other night.

It's Priceless:

Dear Jesus,

What's Up?

How was your day?

Thanks for the Food

Want Some?

I feel certain that honest little prayer went all the way to the Throne of God!

MACARONI SALAD

GMAMA'S MACARONI SALAD

Honest, this is the most unique, best tasting macaroni salad you'll ever taste!  My mother made it all the time beginning in the spring thru summer.  Her Macaroni salad was requested for EVERY Picnic.  Both my daughter's love it and my oldest sister requests it to be on the Thanksgiving menu if she is able to attend! I just finished making a batch and thought to myself...

Hmmm???

I need to share this recipe on Grandmama's Stories!

I once asked my Mama where she got the recipe and she couldn't remember or better yet she could never remember eating this particular version of macaroni salad anywhere else.  

 After Alzheimer's pulled the veil over my mother's memory, I would give her some of HER Macaroni salad, her recipe mind you, and she would say, "Oh this tastes so good, where did you get the recipe?  I don't think I've eaten macaroni salad quite like this."  I would always tell her the Best Cook in America invented the recipe and she would always reply, "Well, I sure would like to meet her and get some more of her recipes, wouldn't you, Jane Ellen?"  Mothers like to call us by our full names, don't they?

 I think I'll call this recipe a Mary White Shrewsbury Original just like the cook who made it up!

Mary's Macaroni Salad

1 box medium shell macaroni

2 cucumbers

1-2 green peppers (amount according to taste..I use about 1-1 1/2...I also make sure my pepper isn't too bitter before I cut up and place in my salad and ruin the whole batch!.  How do I know to do this?...What do you think??)

Celery seed

Mayonnaise (approx. 1/2 - 1 cup depending on your preference.  I use about 3/4 cup and ONLY HELLMANS)

Macaroni, overnight in fridge, salted and w/ celery seed

Prepare shell macaroni according to box instructions.  Make the water salty because the salad is best with your macaroni nicely salted.  Drain, rinse with cold water several times, Drain till dry.  Here is where I place my colander over a pot, cover with clear wrap, and place in fridge over night to get cold and very dry.  This makes the Mayo adhere much better to the macaroni !.  You don't HAVE to do this step but I've found my salad tastes best if I do!  Place in large bowl for mixing ingredients.  Salt Macaroni again and shake on celery seed.  

Dice  Green Peppers and cucumbers small

Added ingredients

    Add Mayonnaise starting in small amounts until you get the taste you like.  We like lots of mayo.  That's it!!  No eggs, no pickles, no celery, etc.. The only tweak I make is to add a small amount of  fresh green onion simply because I personally like onion in just about everything!  Now place in storage bowl and place in refrigerator to chill and for flavors to blend!  Overnight for the best taste.  

Mayo added

I can never wait that long before I get a bowl!  I like it with crackers.  I also like my Macaroni Salad saltier than most of the food I eat...don't know why but it just seems to taste better a little on the salty side and most of my family agrees with me.      

Let me know if you make this recipe and send me an honest evaluation.  I'd like to know if anyone outside of my family likes this version of Macaroni Salad!!  My husband likes it and he's not a fan of green peppers but agrees that the peppers are necessary for this version of Mac Salad.  My youngest daughter will drive 1 hr. to come home if she knows I have made Macaroni Salad.  I always have a separate container for her to take home.  Her housemate/best friend, loves it so I have 1 non-family thumbs up!

SO, this is what's on the Week-end menu here at the farm!  Something grilled on the grill (if #1 husband can get home from fishing in time...I don't grill.  I overcook everything I ever grill) will make a nice and easy week-end meal which means more time for Sewing.  Before the weather turns too warm, I like to take my stitching outside.  I've even taken my sewing machine outside on the patio table which allows me to keep sewing and watch Sidekick Scott.

Prayer Request Sunday is Coming.  I have had 3 Requests for this week wanting YOU, our Prayer Warriors to pray for a special need.  Let's keep our promise to pray for our friends.  Tell your friends about our little group.  I look forward to getting together on Sundays. 

This week, let's begin to think about our roles as mothers , grandmothers, aunts, sisters, and other *womanly* roles we play that influence our children and family.  What can we be grateful for?  How can we be more effective in those roles?  Is our role a positive or negative role?

Just thinkin'.....

Blessings

THE TACO BELL STORY

THE TACO BELL STORY

Staying true to my blog's name, Grandmama's Stories, one of the most requested stories from the plethora of tall tales associated with my family members involves my now deceased mother, the Taco Bell Drive-Thru, and the case of "the misread sign". 

 As she began to age, her health began to deteriorate, her mind began to fail, her memory was sporadic, and macular degeneration took her sight, so she moved to be closer to me.

The two of us had a lot of good years and many adventures together before the veil of dementia took her from me.  To say she made us all laugh would be an understatement.  There wasn't much of a filter between mother's brain and her mouth.  She was a woman of strong opinions accompanied by the loudest "Stage Whisper" you've ever heard.  Combine her strong opinion with that infamous stage whisper and you had a recipe for mayhem at times. 

 I constantly lived on the edge... afraid of what she might say in public.  You can well imagine how many embarrassing moments she gave me as a teen-ager.   As an adult, though, I found my crazy little mama most delightful with a sense of humor that I had finally grown to appreciate.  However, as funny as I found mama's comments, I was cognizant of the fact that the public may not always find her "remarks" quite as endearing as I found them.  She was the poster child for the term "Politically Incorrect."  Oh, my friends, God broke the mold when He made that little lady!

With this brief biographical background, I will attempt to tell a story that is best told in person but worthy of my best efforts to "TELL" via the written word.

It was a Saturday afternoon, and my elderly mother and I were driving home from a quilting class.  Taco Bell was her favorite fast-food restaurant and I do believe she could have eaten her weight in nachos!   There was never a question as to where we were going to eat for lunch.  This particular Saturday, mama was tired so I decided to make a quick run through the Taco Bell Drive-Thru window.  I placed our order and immediately began digging through my purse for my money and coupons.  (I don't know about you, but I spend half my life digging through my purse looking for some UFO that goes missing much like socks in a dryer....but I digress...)

  With head bent over my purse, the old peripheral vision notices mother leaning sharply toward me to the point of almost being in my lap, eyes squinting sharply, head shaking, and finger wagging. 

 I'm Thinking.....

"What is she doing?" 

 "Oh No, what is she getting ready to say?"

 in one of those " life flashing before my eyes" moments. 

 Imagine, if you will, our verbal exchange... keeping in mind  mother's failing vision and penchant for only reading the first and last of a word.  (You know... the common mistake...when you read the word HOUSE and the word is actually HORSE?!) Can we say,  CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR?

Mama:  "Lord have mercy, I never thought I'd live to see the day they would be selling "them" through the Drive-Thru window of a Taco Bell.  Jane, we're going to Hell in a hand-basket, I tell ya...hell in a hand-basket... 

ME:  "What are you talking about, Mama????"  All they're selling are Tacos and Nacho Bell Grande's"

Mama:  "Jane, I know what I see and I tell ya, I never thought I'd live to see something like this happen!  I'd heard about this on the news but just never believed I'd live to see it happen right here."

ME:  "Mama, why are you so upset?  No one is selling anything but tacos and nachos.  

Mama:  "No Jane, LOOK... right there on the window!  Read that sing and See for yourself!"

By this time, I realize my mother had convinced herself some HUGE moral gaffe had taken place right THEN AND THERE and no amount of arguing was going to change her mind...nevertheless, for the life of me I couldn't figure out what had her in such a snit!  I took one more look at the Drive-Thru Window and told myself... Think like Mama... Think like Mama...

And Then...

the Light-bulb goes on...

I suddenly knew why my mother thought the world was going to Hell in a Hand-basket...

what she thought was being sold in the Drive-Thru Window of Taco Bell...

On the DRIVE-THRU Window, 

the Sign Read.......

KEEP SCROLLING

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CONDIMENTS UPON REQUEST

After I stopped laughing, I explained patiently to my mama that CONDIMENTS were 

NOT.......

CON_ _  MS !!

*WINK*  *WINK*

Her Response??

"Don't you tell that one on me, Jane Ellen."

Oh, Mama, that was one promise I JUST COULDN'T KEEP!!!

(pssst...I love you and miss you, mama.  I hope you're entertaining Heaven the way you entertained all of us!))

and now you know

THE TACO BELL STORY!

Blessings